See If You Can Keep Up

Okay, the winner is...

2006-04-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

First off, I just had a freaky moment where I zoned out, but kept typing. It was like that state of mind in between being asleep and awake. When I came too, I noticed I had typed a legible passage about myself (I think). Here is the magic result:

"[] is the greatest there ever was and ever will be but he couldn't hardly contain himself and ended up not doing anything at all and will be forever known as not being known at all?"

It made me laugh and think at the same time. Haha...?

Anyway, back to the results of TINS. My scores were, as I would like to say, quite expected. I fell into the loser's bracket in almost all categories. Fortunately, I placed in the top ten in Artistic, which saves me from sudden saddness. Here was my ranking in each score (out of 21 places):

Overall: 15th
Artistic: 9th
Technical: 17th
Genre: 15th

I'm not sad about my scores. I was a little surprised by the technical scores, but it's okay. I'm still new to this and it wouldn't be very fun if I couldn't improve, right? I'll do better next time, that's for sure!

Oh, and my reviews of the other games were pretty popular. :)

For the rest of the TINS results, see here.

And the winner is...

2006-04-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

Well, actually I don't yet, voting is still in process. However, the polls are suppose to close soon and I'm looking forward to seeing how the games ranked (especially mine). I tried to support as many games as possible, reviewing almost every one of them. I will be putting a combined article on my Pointless Opinionblog for this specific review. I try to keep my reviews lighthearted and fun, with interesting jumbled quotes and several invented words, that way, they are somewhat interesting to read. Check 'em out:

TINS Reviews by Me!

Ski!!!

2006-03-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

In approximately four and half hours, I will be leaving for a 3-day ski trip. I'm feeling the nervousness setting in. This will be my third time skiing, but with such long spans in between, I always feel like I've forgotten everything. Also, I've never been to this mountain, and it looks quite a bit more...advanced...than ole Red River.

Nonetheless, I can't let my brother beat me any more!

Voting Begins!

2006-03-22T15:21:00.000-08:00

Two weeks after the hectic TINS competition and the voting begins! My game has nabbed 3 reviews, which is nice. They way voting works is: every participant can give reviews and rate the entries. However, those who actually submitted games (like me), have to review/rate two selected games and review 4 others. Fortunately, a package with binaries (the actual program) for all entries was put together by the admin. Now, I can finally play the other games (I was having a hard time compiling on my own...)!

To check out reviews for Fragments of Time: click here
To check out reviews for all games: click here
To get a package of all games (9.00 MB): click here

What do I think of my reviews as of thus far?
I wasn't expecting to blow the other games out of the park. I had many complications and really didn't have as solid of a game idea as I originally had hoped I would. I think the reviews that I'm getting so far are very fair. In fact, they are actually better than I figured. It's nice to see that my game wasn't the worst submission and it seems that my art was the most generally accepted thing of the game. This is nice, since it was all hand-done, except for the face.

Can't wait to see the final results!

TINS06

2006-03-17T15:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I've finally finished my article on Fragments of Time, my TINS '06 entry game. We are going to start voting real soon (all participants vote/rank games) and I'll update here. However, I wrote the article on my other blog, as well as link to the game so you can check it out. So what are you waiting for, check it out!

Fragments of Time

Keep in mind there is little bug in the mathematics that will sometimes cause the program to shutdown. Don't worry, it's not malicious to your computer (as far as I can tell). Hope you enjoy it, that is if I didn't just freak you out...

The Art of Game Programming

2006-03-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

Ah, only 8 hours and 14 minutes until TINS06 begins! I'm getting both nervous and excited. When the 8 hours are passed, the rules for this year's competition will be generated and sent out to all entrants. Of course, at that time it will be 5:00AM here and I doubt I will be awake. Also, I will have to wait until I'm done with class and work before I can really get the gears turnin'. To see the rules yourself, check them out here:

TINS06 Rules

The pre-jitters got me thinking about the unique-ness of game programming. It truly is an art, regardless of what some say. I'm so excited because in 8 hours (well, more like 20), I will have to make a game from scratch. I don't even know what it is going to be! And by Monday at 5:00AM, I will theoritically have a complete game! That's mind-blowing, especially if it is your passion. Think about it, it's like the Sistine Chapel before its ceiling was painted. A blank slate. It's like a hit song before it was written. It's like putting a pencil to paper and considering the infinite directions you could go. It is art. I can't wait to get started!

Unfortunately, I do have an exam tomorrow at 12:30PM. It's a big one, too. So I really need to focus and forget TINS until that is done. Easier said than done. Anywho, I probably won't post here during the length of the competition, but you can check out the logs on the TINS page. I plan to update my status frequently. My alias is "Steven Silvey". Check it out here:

TINS06 Weblogs

Well, off to study for the exam {probably for about 5-6 hours worth...sigh}.

Pre-Competition Jitters

2006-02-28T08:56:00.000-08:00

I've been loosely mentioning an upcoming game programming competition off and on in my past posts. Well, it's kickin' off in three days, so I guess now is better than ever to announce TINS06. TINS06 is a recursive acronym that stands for TINS Is Not Speedhack. Speedhack, as you might have guessed, is another competition, probably the closest to "official" the allegro community has. TINS has become pretty big, but I think it is still a foreshadowing of Speedhack.

I competed (more like participated) in ChristmasHack, which was a 8-day event. I didn't even manage to finish anything. And now I'm trying a 3-day event? I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind. I requested Monday off at work, considering I'll probably be pumping code for at least 90% of the competition (that's 65 hours).

I will have to spend a considerable amount of time more than my competitors, which puts me at a severe handicap. They all have their generic frameworks setup and have done these competitions before. After ChristmasHack, I tried to setup a generic framework myself, but didn't have time. Alas, I'm gonna need a miracle to pull this off.

I believe in miracles, but I also believe you can't rely on them, meaning I've got to do something to prepare myself. Thus, over the weekend I made two alpha-stage games to better preapare myself. I chose two highly used genres and built them as fast as I could. With these two titles under my belt, I feel slightly more confident. If the rule-o-matic (TINS automatic rule defining system) asks for a platformer or a vertical scroller, I'll be in good shape. If you want to check them out, here are links to their quickly-created websites. For the vertical website, it's best to highlight the text to read it (sorry about that).

Vertical Scroller Website
Horizontal Platformer Website

Also, over the past few weeks I've been writing music that could possibly be used in a TINS game. I bought ACID music studio with my giftcard from Christmas. The software provides an interesting way of looping tracks and building songs fast. It's fun. Check out some of the songs, or perhaps play them while you play one of the above games!

Music

Most of this post will most likely be copied over to my other blog...

In La-La Land, Again

2006-02-23T12:22:00.000-08:00

First, to continue off my last post, I had obviously spoken too soon. Monday had a few more surprises left in it after I posted. I found out that I missed a Statistics exam and there were so many problems at work, I ended up not going to night class. About the exam, I begged for him to let me take it and fortunately he did, with major penalities. I ended up getting a 46%, which was good considering I didn't have a calculator and after several penalty deductions for taking the exam late. Normally, I'd be frustrated by an F on exam, but it was a 0% before, and obviously 46% is quite a bit better than 0%. In fact, since this exam is worth 25% of my grade, 46% of 25% is 11.5%, a whole letter grade's difference. My chances for an A are gone, but who cares, I gotta get myself graduated!

Anywho, enough of that rant. Today in class, Statistics nonetheless, I brought some reading material to avoid the sheer boredom of listening to teach try to teach (I'd rather have a rock for a teacher...sigh). For those of you who know me, you know it takes life-changing moment just for me to open the pages of a book. Well then, you really don't know me at all then, do you? True, I never read and even managed to avoid reading an entire piece during the entirety of a Literature class and still managing a decent grade (I'm notorious for that). But that's all because I get tired and the info could be taught visually or audio-um-ally. Two, it just takes way too much time, time I really don't have or want to waste.

However, reading game-related material is a different story, completely. I'll actually make time and effort to read those topics. In fact, I'm will to read any educational or technical text presented in the form of a game. Games are just my passion and life, anything about them puts me in a place of comfort.

So I read several chapters of a Game Programming book during statistics. Chapters of interest: Mathematics in Games and Publishing your Game. The latter took me to La-La Land. I really hope I get to that stage someday. I then read some interviews of other independent developers and their histories. Very interesting and enlightening indeed! Afterwards (after class that is), I went to the author's website and ended up researching the University of Advancing Technology. They have an online curriculum that might be extremely beneficial for me!

There's so much to do and so little time, I really should get out of La-La Land! Actually, that sounds like an interesting game title...

When it Rains, it Pours

2006-02-20T11:22:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you said, "today, I'm going to get my life in order," only to have everything go wrong that day? It seems to be stuck on loop with me.

Lately, all I want to do is get things back on track, but the more I say that, the further I fall. It's annoying at best. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do but stick your head up high and try not to smell the poopoo* you're in.

So how have I been doing with that schedule I proposed? Terribly. Haven't stuck to it once. At least I wrote it down, because now I have a guilty conscious that will hopefully force me into that ideal plan.

Anywho, I realized today that I missed an exam. It was completely my fault and really is a bullet in my foot. It was 25% of my grade. Even if I try really, really hard, the best I can do is get a C, and this stuff is pretty easy. It's looking like I'm going to be getting my first D. I'd drop it, but what's the point? I've already dropped it once before and this is my last semester. I suppose I will just have to suck it up and take one to the GPA. :(

But for now, I've got to prepare for my upcoming 72hr Game Programming competition. Nothing is more important than that, not even school (not even close). More to come on this later.....

*saying that word makes me happier. :)

2006-02-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

I don't feel so well today.

Somewhat Down: Getting back on Track

2006-02-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

Seems I've been depressed lately. There's several possible reasons for that, so knowing these options, I should be able to come up with a recovery plan. Yet, undepressing oneself has never proven to be a simple task. Time to put on the armor and take on this crippling beast!

The first thing to fighting depression is to know what thy enemy is. Typically, it doesn't really start wearing on you unless it has multiple skills. I can think of 4 things off the top of my head that could very easily be attributing this monster.

Myself reincarnate! Yes, yes, there's another 'me' out there and it's got me bummed. Why? Because this other 'me' is doing everything right! While I'm dreaming of these amazing things and planning out to a tee of what to do, he is actually doing them. I'm a dreamer and he's a doer. I'm amazed at how much he's accomplished and it should be me standing on that pedestal that he has so proudly built. I do a good job of hiding my jealousy, at least until I get to my car and realize that I'm the failure.
Forgotten friends. The end of highschool marked an interesting time where people just dissappeared. Poof! They're gone! From time to time I just wish I could see them and talk to them. It seems that as the years go by, this longing becomes more bearing and I miss them more and more. There's two girls I'd do just about anything to find them and recreate that bond. Unfortunately, if I did find them, it would be awkward and we'd end up just saying things like, "so how's school going?"
Lack of Progress and Responsibility. Lately, I can't get anything accomplished and I end up sitting in the same place I started out the day. This has a lot to do with me being a dreamer and not a doer. I've got to get myself back on track or I'll never get out of this ravine. You can't find a depression monster in a ravine!
Loniliness. You'd think that that'd be vanquished by the tithes of marriage. Afraid not. In fact, I'm feeling lonlier than ever. Well, that's not true at all, but I'm feeling quite deprived of social activity. The only person I see is my wife and that's only when she gets home right at my bedtime. I've gone days were I didn't say one word the entire day. That should never happen.
Busy. Working and school never allow any time. It's even more so when you're up to your eyeballs in debt. I have no time to do the things that I enjoy. Obviously, not being able to do the things you enjoy is depressing.

Okay, so I guess it's 5 things. Sadly, I think there are more problems, but these are just the surfacing ones. Depression is tricky and I'm sure it's got something up its sleeves. Nonetheless, now begins the strategy to combat what I do know of my enemy. I can't really do anything about loniliness, since that is ultimately a byproduct of busy-ness. I can't do anything about the busy-ness factor considering my schedule. I could "take out" my other 'me', but that would be against my morals. Really, the only thing I can do is relieve my lack of progress and responsibility.

Therefore, a tentative schedule of my days is necessary. There's just not enough time in the day to get by doing whatever I feel like. Having a concrete schedule might backfire (+1 for depression), but I think it will give me the edge I need to forget the other talents of sinister force.

Without further ado, here's my new day-to-day schedule, planned to the minute:
Monday
6:30 - Wake up
7:45/8:00 - Arrive at Work
11:50/11:55 - Head for Formal Languages
2:00 - Arrive back at work with lunch
5:30 - Leave for Psychology
7:30 - Head home
7:30/8:00 - Dinner time
8:30 - Work on Homework
9:30 - Free time
10:30 - Workout
11:00 - Get ready for bed
11:15 - Go to bed

Tuesday - Odd Weeks
6:30 - Wake up
7:45/8:00 - Arrive at work
10:25/10:30 - Head for Intro to Statistics and Probability
12:45/1:00 - Arrive back at work with lunch
6:00/6:30 - Leave Work
6:30/7:00 - Dinner
7:30 - Free Time
9:30 - Homework/Study
10:30 - Workout
11:00 - Get Ready for bed
11:15 - Go to Bed

Tuesday - Even Weeks
6:30/6:30 - Same as Odd Weeks
6:30/7:00 - Arrive at UAGDC meeting
8:30 - Head Home! Dinner/Free time till 9:30
9:30/11:15 - Same as Odd Weeks

Wednesday
6:30-11:15 - Same as Mondays

Thursday
6:30-11:15 - Same as Tuesday (Odd Weeks)

Friday
6:30-2:00 - Same as Mondays
6:00/7:00 - Leave work
7:00/???? - Free Time

Saturday
10:00/2:00 - Wake up (Depends on if I'm going to play raquet ball or not)
2:00/5:00 - Programming (Games)
5:00/7:00 - Playing Games
7:00 - Dinner
7:30/8:00 - Clean Apartment
9:00 - Free Time
10:30 - Workout
11:00 - Anime
1:00 - Go to bed!!!

Sunday
8:45 - Wake up
9:45 - Leave for Church
11:00 - Go to parents house
1:00 - Arrive back at apartment
1:00 - Free Time
3:00 - Programming (Games)
5:00 - Homework
7:00 - Go to parents house
9:00/10:00 - Arrive back at apartment
10:00 - Homework
11:00 - Workout
11:30 - Get ready for bed
12:00 - Go to bed

School's back till Summer

2006-01-18T07:25:00.000-08:00

Blah. I've come to hate school so much it's not even funny. So let me say it now, loud and clear...

The University of Arkansas is completely worthless!!!

There, got that out of my system. I was looking forward to kicking off this semester, but after just one day, I quickly changed my mind. I don't even know where to begin. Perhaps a bullet-point presentation is in order!

Classes are not standarized - Not in the least. I took Statistics last semester only to drop it out of multiple factors. I'm taking the exact same class (with a different teacher) and everything, including the core elements/topics, are completely different. What the heck? I could go to another class and get another curriculum? Obviously, that's just not right. Same thing happened to my Software Engineering class, another situation where I was boned out of my control.
Classes are worthless - The education, the primary goal of a University, is horrific. I was actually smarter before I went to college! Okay, I take that back, I have learned many things since high school, but I'd account 90% of them to myself, 5% to random chance, and perhaps, 5% to the UofA. I'm so far behind the rest of the world that this university has royally screwed me to the point of no return.
Teachers - I'm always excited when I get a good teacher. So far, out of the 30 or so classes I've taken, I can say I've enjoyed 2. Lame!
Way too expensive! - With such poor education, the UofA is way overpriced. Don't go here, it sucks! My degree is going to end up costing me $30,000 and is going to take forever to pay off. I'd say it's only worth about $1500 (5% - take a look at number 2) in reality.
They are trying to screw you! - I've fallen into several holes throughout my college life. Holes that many are meant to fall through. There's all kinds of fine-line factors that end up putting you in major trouble. I was awarded $1850 for this semester from the Pell Grant, and up until about a week ago, all the systems said I was going to get that money. When I checked yesterday, I was only getting $1388. That's nearly $500 less! This semester's bill comes out to $1776, so I would have gotten money back! Now I owe $400! Why? Because I'm not taking 12 hours of class, something that wasn't ever mentioned anywhere. $400 is a lot when you were needing money back in the first place. Absolutely ridiculous.

I'm sure there are more reasons, but those are the main ones. I've litterally thought about burning the whole place down several times. Yes, I'm incriminating myself if this ever occurs, but I really don't want anyone else to go through this piece of s*** school! I say,

Let it burn!!!

Happy New Year!

2006-01-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

It's a new year!

And how did I ring in the new year? I was at a party, but I think I'm the only one who remembers that. I have nothing against drinking, but getting drunk is a different story. I'm proud to say that I've never been drunk. I just see no sense in it. Some say drinking brings out your true colors and permits you to not care, ultimately leading to a fun time. In other words, drinking allows you to stop being fake and gives you the chance to be rude and unthoughtful, ultimately leading to irresponsibility. Yes, that's the truth, but most people read it as the first sentence.

I'm true to myself. I do hold back plenty of things that don't need to be said, but there's nothing wrong with that (as long as you avoid bottling up pressure-sensitive topics). There's no need for me to get drunk to have a good time. In fact, a good time for me is just playing a game or even making one. I really need nothing else to have fun.

So to all those who drink, have at it, but be warned, you lose control of yourself and when you do that, then how do you expect to fight the Devil himself and all his temptations?

Anyway, I digress. This year is a big one for me. I imagine all kinds of changes and modifications to my life. I have two main resolutions, one public and one very, very private. In fact, I thought about making another blog just to handle the private issue. It is about my ultimate weakness, Satan's trump card on me. I've prayed and prayed to overcome this sin, but continue to fall victim to it's clutch. Problem is, I'm not meeting God halfway, which is typically necessary for redemption.

What is the sin? Well, I told you, it's private. Already within four days of this year I've been seriously tempted and failed phase 2. There are 3 phases that I'm fighting. Phase 1 was inevitable, there was no way I was going to stop that phase (no one can, it's impossible). Phase 2 was more like wishful thinking, but I knew I couldn't beat that phase. Phase 3 is the final, ultimate part of the sin that I'm really trying to break. Weekends often bring this sin looming around, so we'll see how well I do then.

I have fought this beast for a long time. I even imagined to drop it cold turkey for an entire season once. But it's just like smoking, it keeps coming back and blotting* my soul.

*Yes, that's not a word.

What's new?

2005-12-27T15:05:00.000-08:00

What I got for Christmas:

Samurai Jack DVD : Season 2
Samurai Jack PS2 Game
Boxers
Gloves
Sweaters and pants
Civilization 4!
MGS3
100$ to Best Buy
125$ to Target
A remote controlled mini-car (silly dad)
DVD player
Tivo
*Homemade Fudge*
A digital watch
Memory Foam pillow
A cell phone
Futurama Season 1 DVD

So I finally broke down and decided it's time for a new computer. It all started last night when Civilization IV wouldn't run (in fact, it didn't even meet the minimum requirements). Afterwards, i browsed the web to see what packages are currently out there. I found a dell pc that's about twice as good as my current, but here's the kicker, it would cost $12 a month, $1 cheaper than FFXI, a game that barely runs on my pc. Obviously, it's time to upgrade.

My strategy is as follows, find a packaged deal that I'd like, relay the package to one of my forum communities, build the optimal computer. I found a deal that looked good to me on dell's site and relayed it to the community. Immediately, they told me it was a bad deal and the price wasn't worth the performance. Now they're telling me what to get and where (mainly from newegg) and hopefully I can make all this work.

My wife and I are going to total up the bills tonight and see what we can afford. I'm excited and scared out of mind at the same time. We'll see what happens, hopefully before school starts back up.

Almost Chrismtas!

2005-12-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

And what do I want? Nothing, really. I typically get video games and gift cards, plus a random thing or two, not that that's bad or anything. I just have pretty much everything I need. I'm at the end of my college career and going nowhere fast towards my dreams of game development. The fun games and stuff usually are just a hinderance from my studies and programming.

And what I should be doing more than ever right now is programming. I've got to learn as much of the trade as I possibly can. I feel I don't stand a chance right now if I were to interview at any game company. As my life goes, it's going to be more and more difficult to get there. With a full time job and someday, an expanding family, I won't have time to focus on thing I've done all my life!

Of course, working at a game company isn't really ideal to me. Personally, I'd rather just have my own company and make games by myself. The corporate world of the game industry has become to commercialized and dominated. EA (Electronic Arts) has become quite the slave-driving company itself (and also the only one really offering any potential jobs). So I'd love to be successful outside of that sickening world, and hopefully, making enough money to support my family.

For now, I'm just going to enter in every independent game competition that I can. I'm in an event right now where I have 8 days to make a game. It's called ChristmasHack. Believe it or not, it actually spawned off a comment that I said. Go figure. I'm looking forward to the game Im going to get at the end of this event. It's kind of like a Secret Santa thing. That's what I've been up to since the last post.

Final Final

2005-12-12T09:41:00.000-08:00

In three hours and 20 minutes, I will be taking my last Final of my second-year senior Fall semester. Hoorah, yay, whoop-dee-do, ah who cares. At this point, schooling is more like shaving the extra hairs on your face that no one can see in the first place. Next semester is going to be awful, too. It is a compilation of all the classes I couldn't pass before for differing reasons. One is a class I dropped this semester due to being overwhelmed, another from last spring because it was ridiculously hard (and irrelevant). Once I pass this class, I'll be done with my CS studies. I don't know if I'll ever go for a Masters. The next few years kind of determine the whole outlook of my entire life. Ain't that scary?

Anyway, before this horrid spring semester begins, I've got a lot of independent stuff I want to do. Suppose I'll leave it at that for today and get some quality study time in...

Dead Day

2005-12-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

Today's dead day. And what am I doing? Working, of course...

I tend to write on my blogs whilst at the office. No, I don't spend all of my time writing out lengthy submissions, just kind of write up drafts when I think I need a break from sifting through database stuff.

Last weekend, I held a competition for myself called ScourgeHack. It was pretty intense, but I'm happy with the results. Other than that, I've turned in my papers, done my presentations and waiting for the two finals to finish off the semester. Speaking of papers, I got a 90% on it, 90% on the abstract and a 100% on the presentation. Since it was so late, I technically got a 78%. Oh well, it still secures a B for the class and I'm fine with that. I mean it's a Language and Society class, not quite my cup-o-tea. :)

Well, better get back to work. I'll write more when I finish up this semester. 'Till then, I've got a lot of study/memorizing to do. :)

Almost There...

2005-11-29T11:44:00.000-08:00

Once again, it's been a while since I've written to this blog. I keep relatively regular updates on my other blogs that are slightly more theme-based. I have several drafts for Pointless Opinions (One for Teen Titans and another for the University of Arkansas). So I often don't have time to talk about me.

Well, I finally turned in my Japanese Language and Society (a senior level class) paper today. It was due on November 17th, nearly two weeks ago. Technically, I lose a percent on my final grade for each class period it's late and there has only been two since then, but we'll see what Dr. Fukushima decides in the end. I had no desire to do it and it killed me every second I spent on it. It ended up being 16 pages, of course one page is the title page, one for the abstract, one for the footnotes and one for the references. Also, the 12th page of actual content only had a few lines on it. Basically, the actual paper was 11 pages.

I've got to do a presentation on it this Thursday. Yay. Anyway, after that, all I'll have left is the final and then I'll be done with this class! I'm not going to say it was the worst class I've ever been through (unlike the other Japanese class I attempted this semester), but I think the core values were not presented very well and I didn't learn as much as I had hoped. Since each day consisted of presentations by the class, the actual accuracy of topics is debatable. Mostly what I learned was on my own, which of course I could have done without having to pay for the class.

Speaking of late papers, I turned in Software Engineering paper last night that was due on September 14th, over two months ago! This was just a 20 point assignment and the only way I got it accepted was simply due to the fact that there was a teacher change at just about that time, so I can easily say it got lost in the transaction. I wouldn't care for the most part, but 20 points seems to be making the difference between a B and an A, and I care about my grades in CS classes!

Speaking of grades, I'm expecting (and hoping) for an A and a B, 3.5 for the semester. I should have gotten an A in Japanese Language and Society, but I screwed that up on my research paper (shame, shame). However, that doesn't go towards my engineering GPA. All I have left to do this semester is two presentations (tomorrow and the day after) and two finals and that's it! I'm almost there...

A Step Back

2005-10-29T13:14:00.000-07:00

There comes a time when you have to choose to step back. The battle has turned an unexpected turn and continuing to fight would be futile. It is in these times where you must know your priorities. A bad decision can be disasterous, can even lead to the loss of lives. It is imperitive you consider the long term effects of the war. If you know when to step back, the war can still be salvaged.

I've seen many cases recently where people have decided to step back. My sister realized her TV class was too unrelated to her interests (not to mention blatently prejudice and shady). My father had a realization of his own (not to be disclaimed here). Another case, altough particularly silly, is a storm-chaser did not heed the advice of another, thinking he had the storm's path figured, and was caught by its sudden turn and ended up dead. Okay, so that last reference was from Twister, a ridiculuously unbelievable movie, but my point remains.

I too have had to step back from my current duties. I got carried away with my Japanese class and had to push aside my game design dreams. This one class consumed me, and I could never meet the standards placed by the (psycho) teacher. Feeling worthless, I spent every second studying and trying to become fluent. I neglected my Statistics homework and avoided household chores. I got so disspaired that I often sat and stared at my monitor, not doing anything at all. Trying to figure out how to best spend my time became quite a delima.

So I decided I had to drop the class. Yes, I want to learn how to speak Japanese, but not at the cost of everything else. It took me way too long to decide this. My Statistics class suffered too much to recover from and was dropped as well. Basically, I spent $800-$900 on classes that I didn't even finish. Plus, I felt terrible for dropping the classes, like I was a failure.

I'm slowly getting back on track. I've been working on CardPro and thinking up new games and their designs. I'll finish up my CS degree and then focus on getting my Japanese minor. I was hoping to graduate with it, but that's nothing more than something I could boast about, hardly an advantage to the game industry.

Thus, I move on. I still have much to do and recover from, but with my lightened load, I believe I can finish this war correctly.

For some reason, I didn't post this when I wrote it. I think I needed to edit it for some reason, but it looks like a perfectly normal post to me. *Shrugs* - 11/28/2005

Midterm Mania

2005-10-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Urgh...it's been forever since I've posted here. This semester has been a killer and mainly to my annoyance. I've got a psyco japanese teacher who is flunking the majority of the class (me included) and requires 3-5 hours of homework a night! I simply don't have that time, meaning I probably won't pass and that means I lose my Japanese Minor. Well, I won't lose it, but I won't be getting it either. I'll have to wait until further down the line to take the class again, but that could be just as bad, giving any time for me to lose any sense of what I know now.

And if that's not enough, the past two weeks I've been on-call and been called more than ever during my time. Each call came at 3:00am, right as I was finishing homework for the next day. I basically didn't get any sleep at all for a week. It was ridiculous. Last Thursday I was planning on catching up on some sleep and I got paged at the same time and I worked on the issue until 5:30, in which I basically said "screw you" and crashed until 4:00pm! I don't know if it was the best idea, but I had met the end of my rope several days before.

And this week is Midterm week. 3 midterms. I'm so excited. I can't wait to graduate so I don't have to waste my time with this tedious schooling and mindless work. Ugh, I just want to run away...

Well, that was depressing...

Struggling

2005-09-10T15:02:00.000-07:00

I woke up really (really really) late today. I didn't roll out of bed until 4:15PM. Sadness. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that I don't get any sleep during the week. I look forward to the weekend every day so I catch up on sleep and do more of what I like. Unfortunately, I don't have much time left in the day to do what I like. *sigh*

And I'm still tired...

Blog's Anonymous

2005-09-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

I now have four blogs! Yay! *Glances over at ole links section*

So what's going on, everyone? I'm falling apart. I got 4 hours of sleep on Monday night and 3.30 hours of sleep last night. Well, I should've only gotten 3.30 hours of sleep. I hit my snooze button so many times that I ended up missing class and then I just turned the alarm clock off. Didn't wake up until 11:45, meaning I got 8 hours of sleep. I feel rested, but I missed class and was 2 and half hours late to work. Of course, work is loose on the times I come in, so that didn't matter much. It was more out of concern for my wallet.

Actually, I'm at work right now writing this. Haha. Like I said, I have a pretty laxed job, but I'm looking up at my dry-erase board and I've got quite a list of tasks to be done. I haven't gotten to work on a program in a while. Just been focusing on end-user problems and the whatnot.

Outside of work, I've been trying to keep up with Japanese. I wrote a program to take all the things I do and randomly prioritize the list (giving certain items more priority) and tells me what to do. This way I can focus on all the different projects I gotz going in an orderly manner. Each time the program runs, higher priority items increase in priority and have a higher chance of being picked randomly. Probably doesn't make much sense, but it seems to be working nicely. Anyways, the two highest priority items are studying Japanese and working on the Japanese program.

I'll talk about the Japanese program in my Solo Games blog, because I consider it a tool for learning Japanese which in turn helps me in my game development. Japanese this semester is by far more difficult than previous semesters. In fact, it's more difficult than almost all the classes I've ever had. Why? Because it's Advanced Conversations in Japanese, an all Jap. class. Also, it's taught by someone else than Fukushima, and I knew how his system works. This new teacher is way tough and I feel like I don't know anything at all. So, I've got a lotta catchin' up to do.

Other than Japanese, I'm working on a fanfic I call The Death Knight. It's based off FFXI and meant for fulfilling my position as Content Editor of the stratics website.

I need to fill out the FAFSA. I'm about half-way. I've got a school payment at the end of this semester. I'm going to do everything in my power to avoid getting a school loan, but everybody tells me that is the way to go.

Well, that's enough blabbering for one day...

Introduction

2005-08-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

This is unlike other blogs I've created...this one is not theme-based and is solely about me and what I'm up to. Well, I guess it is a theme...my personal blog. I doubt anyone would find any interest in reading this other than family members and friends (and they might not either, ha). So anywho (you'll see that non-existent word a whole lot with me, anywho) welcome to my personal blog and check out some of my other blogs focused on more central themes. Chow.

:)